What did you think of Prop. 9 a while back? Chances are, if you are from California, under the age of 200, and not all YOU SHALL BE SMITE-ED religious fanatic, you probably feel in some way sympathetic towards the whole marriage equality issue. Ok, it's not an issue so much as an aspect of social stigma, separating those who are anti-gay and those who can accept it. Some people believe that loving a member of your same sex in a romantic way is against Nature and morals and what God intended. The other half of society is all for personal and individual freedom, including orientation and relationships. Personally I am all for freedom of choice, and am happy to support my gay friends in whatever endeavors they aspire to. They are my friends, amazing people who have the same potential that I or anyone else does. I am proud to call them my companions. We live in the generation of unparalleled acceptance and individuality, a world where anyone can be whoever they want to be and deserve to not be feared or singled out for who they are. But we still have ideas about what is good and bad, even if we accept the idea of homosexuality. Correct me if I am wrong, but within the pro-gay community (henceforth they shall be bequeathed 'the pros') do people find it more socially acceptable to see lesbians making out or grinding against each other than to see two gay men holding hands walking down the street.
But I feel that pride is another underlying stigma that society doesn't actually address. This flaw resides in the pro-gay population. Yes, a characteristic of the pro population that actually is preventing us from completely accepting gays as normal. You may think nothing of it, but for me there are 5 simple words that a pro-person can say that will completely shatter the illusion of accepting gays as a normal part of society. And I will be your slave for a month if you can honestly say that you've never said this sentence before:
"Do you think he's gay?"
The title of this post was not directed at you asking your opinion of a question not yet asked. It was not asking for you to respond to what I have written here (although if you would like to do so then I would greatly welcome any discussion or opposing thoughts). The title is a question that proves that sexual orientation still DOES matter, regardless of whether or not you are ok with a man loving another man. It is a reflection upon ironic nature of the term "acceptance." (I am going to post a link here because I want to think about the term a little more). Don't tell me you've never looked at someone and asked your friend if you thought they were gay because of the way that they dress or talk or walk or carry themselves or because of who they hang out with. Don't tell me that you don't care if he is gay or metro or straight because to me the fact that you had to assert this means that you aren't 100% completely used to the idea yet. I can't deny that I don't think this question sometimes, but it matters less and less to me now. You may be a person that is completely accepting of the homosexual community. You may be a person who supports their freedoms and is friends with gay people or even is gay yourself. You will most likely say that it doesn't matter to you if they are gay or not, you just want to know. But if it doesn't matter, why do you care so much?
When you were a kid, did you care who your friends were? Most likely not- you would become best friends with anyone who would share their blocks with you. They weren't your black friend, they were your friend. They weren't the kid with the glasses (among us asians I don't think we made fun of each other having "4-eyes"). So why do we do that now. Why do we have to point out that we have black friends or gay friends. Sure, I may still be a member of the 'Asian population', but within those who are used to that culture, we do not separate ourselves into Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Cambodian, etc. despite our historic differences.
I just realized as I was writing this that even if everyone did come to fully accept the gay community in my super-idealistic construct in my head, we can still separate them out from "the rest of us." Because that is what they are, the 'Gay Community.' Of course this hopefully won't mean anything, much like we use the phrases 'asian community' or 'black community.' But me singling out gay people from the rest of the population just proves my point that there is some level of segregation.
I think we have to move past acceptance and actually work to get rid of the idea of "gay" from our mindsets. This will of course be pretty much impossible, but haven't we done that for interracial marriages already? Just throwing out examples, who doesn't think mixed babies have a 1000000000% chance of being really really ridiculously good looking. There is so much people could write about the hurdles that humanity has overcome towards universal acceptance. We will never be able to get rid of labels because that is how we identify groups, but it doesn't mean we have to segregate. Labels are a part of our identity, although sometimes the innocence of our words hits individuals more personally than others. Religious freedoms, rights for African Americans. We make so much fun of women's rights even though there is almost no separation between sexes nowadays in developed nations. These are all equalities that seem so basic to us now that we wonder how the past could have held such a social stigma. So I won't say that I have a gay friend. I will say that this is my friend ____, and he has a preference for men. Like you may have a preference for brunettes. Is it the same? What do you think?
