What the hell

After all this work, I'm tired of this sub-par mediocrity. I always go to class, never fall asleep during lecture, and yet...

I guess lucky guesses allow others to get saved through life, but not me.

Some rural village in the middle of nowhere better be having a bountiful harvest. To them, I'd be happy giving away my luck.

Flash

Today I had a flash of anger hit me. I've recently been thinking about something that didn't go my way, and I was disappointed in how it turned out, but I had resolved to let it go, because losing this thing wasn't the end of the world. Everyone encounters setbacks, and I know I can get over it. What was startling was that this momentary flash caught me completely by surprise - I was taken aback that this had come from within. A "what was THAT?" moment, and I instinctively shut out that feeling from my mind within milliseconds of me first experiencing it. But I honestly had to stop and think about what I had just felt to realize what just happened, and it was confusing. I had no reason to feel anger or animosity. And usually I'm good at keeping my emotions and thoughts in check. So what was this, that, for a brief moment, clawed its way out of me and disrupted my passive demeanor?