PIGEON SHIT

This is going to be an angry blog posting. Just to warn you.

I am grateful for a lot of things. I have material goods, I have a car that I can drive, and money that I can spend to do luxurious things like watch movies and go out to eat. I have a family, I have food everyday, and I have clean water. A shelter over my head, a safe community in which to find my own self, and friends who look out for me. But still, I feel mad, I feel like the world isn’t fair for me. I know this is wrong, because I also think “why do I deserve all of this, when so far I have been an economic failure and have not contributed anything to society?”

Where is this going? Well, it all started in high school… no, actually it started with the baby boomers and the explosion in the population creating this ridiculous problem of SCARCITY. Too many people, not enough stuff, and in this case, it’s money for educational systems and not enough spaces for college applicants. And ‘MID’. I made it up. It stands for Mother-Induced Depression, and is what happens when your parents bitch out at you for something completely random and it ruins your whole day. Although this may have been induced indirectly by procrastination, the direct culprit is something external.

So, the fun-ruining. It all started, let’s say sophomore year. Everything is cool, the first two years of high school have been pretty chill. Then I experience the pre- SAT season stress. Aptitude tests that directly influence my chances of getting into college? WTF!!! And I did pretty well on it, but of course there are more looming in the not-so-distant future. So my mom says “Don’t worry, just wait until SATs are over and then you can relax!” Well, junior year comes along, and of course I feel like I’m in over my head with work, and so my mother’s response is “Just wait until winter break and then you can take a short break.” But NOOOOOO I need to use that break to study for SECOND semester. And so second semester comes along, and of course more stress from classes and life and what not, and my mom gives her advice again. This time it’s “You just have to push past the AP tests and then the rest of school will be a breeze! You’ll be a senior next year!” Nevertheless, AP tests roll by and I’m still stressed because I’m being forced to study for my normal classes under the whip. And all the while SATs are still a significant disappointment in life. So as the end of Junior year dawns upon us, and my final SAT was taken, I felt that sigh of relief as I strolled into my anxiously awaited period of relaxation. Unfortunately, I have to start doing my college applications, which prompts another “don’t worry, as soon as these applications are completed, the rest of high school will be fun for you!” Of course, she did not take into account her own lengthening of the process into the school year, and so now it is first semester of my long awaited senior year. “You just need to finish researching your colleges and study through this last semester!” is my motivation to go along with this tedious agenda, although now that it is second semester, I still do not have the relaxation I have desired for so long. Now it’s “You still have to research the colleges you want to get into! That’s what your February break is for!” and “Your second semester grades still count! You have been spending too much time out with your friends and not enough studying!” OMG, when will this end?

The answer sadly may be never. We study our asses off throughout our youth and claw our way to dominance on the society’s totem pole all for a spot in our dream school. Every step and accomplishment we make only gives rise to more perpetual tasks that need to be done before we obtain our rewards. Of course we may have fun there, but then it’s several more years of hard-core education and then we find our jobs. And then people of my generation are hit with the economic debt and financial outcomes from the irresponsible actions from the previous generation. We will have to struggle in society to make a living for ourselves battling both heavy problems of scarcity and the gargantuan federal deficits from the retiring elders and reckless welfare users. Before you know it, we are old, past the good years of our young lives, and on the path to physical debasement. There will be good times along the road, but life is a constant struggle. Damn capitalism. People need to be nice and fair and helpful, not indecent and manipulative, fighting tooth and claw to raise themselves and devastate the situations of others. Wow, I think I’m heading towards being Red… No, don’t worry, no need to call me a Rosenberg. So I guess, since “in the long run, we’re all dead,” Carpe diem.

With my freeze ray I will stop the world.

But what the fuck am I doing. It’s not like complaining about how we are screwed is going to make anything better. Why do we complain, anyways?

Sorry this post may have made me seem depressed. I’m ok. Just not optimistic.