Of all the choices in life, how do we know that we've made the right ones? Often we don't, and we regret making some of the decisions in life. But I wonder how much these decisions affect which path in life we take. So here are some of my 'What if's:
- what if I hadn't been born in Saratoga?
- What if I was gay?
- what if I hadn't had the supportive friends I had?
- what if I had a different set of morals?
- what if I was an only child?
- what if I had tried harder?
- what if I hadn't done that one thing that one time?
- what if I had?
- what would have happened if I had a different personality?
- what if I were a girl?
Of all the choices I've made in my life, it would be impossible for me to say that I don't regret some of my decisions, or that if I could go back in time to tell my younger self what to do I wouldn't. But would I change any of them? How many times have I been embarrassed or ashamed of something that I could have changed or avoided?
But I always think back to Eric Weiner. "I wouldn't have changed anything." Because in actuality, we are today because of everything that has happened to us, and I wouldn't be anyone different. It's weird to think how one simple action or choice or situation could have had such an immense change on your life, and if that had happened, I can't help but wonder how different a person I would be. How many opportunities have I not capitalized on, and how would those have affected me today? Addressing the above, what if I had become friends with "the wrong crowd"? Would I have gotten into more trouble, or would I have had enough sense to keep to my own morals, or would I have eventually sought out people like the friends that I have today in the end anyways? What if I had gone to a different school, where I would have met different people and taken different classes and experienced different things. I've come to know myself so much more due to the choices I've made and the lessons I've maybe had to learn the hard way. And even though I'd love to have danced unmolested through life, I am glad that I've learned the lessons I have learned. Although not looking forward to my future mistakes so much... But I guess I agree with Mr. Weiner on this subject. I am happy with who I am right now, the person I have turned out to be. And the mistakes have not only showed me how naive or foolish I was, but also given me an idea of the person that I want to become. So learn from our regrets. We will always have the 'what if's in life, but I feel it is how we learn from our decisions and how we can apply them to our future that makes it all worth it.
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